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Of course I hook 'em up too. In fact I guess you could say I've hooked up a lot of this town's newer residents as part of their household moves. Anyway, I was covering for Al, who was off to some convention. You know the kind ya spend two hours at looking around to size things up and the rest of the time chasing broads and getting fucked up. But, hey... Al's the boss... he's entitled, right? So I'm sitting at the front desk reading Hustler, checking out the pink, you know? When this old geezer pops in and wants to buy a HDTV. Hey, we ain't sold many of those babies yet, so I give him my full attention. He seemed to know what he wanted and the sale went quickly. He wanted it delivered the next day and I promised him I'd have it there around lunchtime. While I'm writing up the sales receipt, a very attractive brunette in extremely tight jeans entered the store. I'm psychin' myself up for another sale and wondering if I left the Hustler open where anyone could see it, when she greets. Only stop when the world explodes.” The world hadn’t exploded later that evening but Alice felt as though it may have been knocked off its axis a little. Her world had changed anyway. She’d liked what happened. A lot. And even the embarrassment of Granny’s knowing leer hadn’t put her off trying again. And again. “I don’t know what’s happening to the soap,” Margaret complained. “But we’ve nearly finished this bar already and I bought extra this week as we were running low.” “The buggers have probably changed the recipe,” Granny replied quickly, throwing Alice a look sharp enough to split a water molecule back into two ‘H’s and an ‘O’. “You don’t have to use the soap, Alice; your fingers’d be just as good. Better even,” Granny said, nodding to herself sagely. She waited until Alice had a mouthful of hot tea before continuing. “Bet your twat is lovely and clean though.” She chuckled, tapping the lip of her pipe against her teeth. “Oh dear, you’d best clean that up before your mother.
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